The Election: Nigeria vs. the United States of Murika!


Just to put it out there before you go any further, this post is me rambling about the subject I have chosen as my topic of discussion for this pointless endeavour, so close this page now before you get infected with the pointless disease.

Nigeria is a crazy, stupid, annoying, mad, and among other things a sweet country that is always trying to kill its citizens with every opportunity the country gets. I’m aware that you have just realised that I am referring to the ‘Nigeria’ like it’s a living person. If you’ve lived in Nigeria as much as I have or longer, then you’d probably agree with me. Anyway as I was saying, Nigeria is a weird country in everything, I mean Nigeria is a country that has a National Assembly that would criminalise same-sex marriages but as rumours will have it many of these law makers engage in more acts of sodomy than the people of Sodom and Gomorrah probably did; anyway it’s just kuku rumours, so there is probably no reason to take it seriously. Nigeria is also a country where a set of people in a community will set an alleged thief on fire without at least giving this individual his chance to defend himself, but when a politician who has been alleged to have been caught with enough evidence to send him to jail for 25 to life, these same people will celebrate this politician like he was some kind of hero.

What I’m trying to say in essence is if BATMAN! in all his selfless glory is a Nigerian, who helps a lot of people and says a lot of cool stuff like “I am the Hero Nigeria wants but not what it needs” and “DO YOU BLEED? … YOU WILL!” he would probably be looked at like his act of saving everybody’s ass all the time is an act of ‘OVERSABI’ (google what ‘oversabi’ means yourself, I am not here to spoon feed you).


But I digress.

The reason why I started off with the supposedly random information about Nigeria is kind of not pointless. This is because a lot of Nigerians have this habit of being so carefree, and politically apathetic when it comes to politics and the Nigerian political terrain, but let America or Britain start showing signs of holding any form of election and everybody (weeeellll not really everybody, but you get what I mean) will start churning out professional opinions about how these other countries should have conducted their election, whether a candidate is better or not, whether the supporters of one candidate have sense or not… oh by the way, if you ever hear any African say “You don’t even have sense”, trust me that person is a Nigerian even if their names sounds like what you’d call a nail polish.

Last year, Nigeria held its Presidential election which led to the kicking out of the then incumbent political party PDP. At that time, it was a good thing to kick that political party out, but in retrospect I think the world ending would have been a better option than choosing between either of the two major political parties in existence in Nigeria. Like I said above, Nigerians like amebo and so they can argue constructively and objectively about the elections of other countries, but when it comes to Nigeria, almost everyone is divided between major party lines, and all arguments are neither constructive nor objective but mostly inter party bickering between the two divisions. It has gotten to a point where an accusation of wrongdoing will spring up and these non card-carrying party supporters will be seen either brazenly defending this wrongdoing or will just confidently say things like “ ANSOFUKWOT?”.

The whole point of all the nonsense I have written above is … well, Nigerians have wahala, they know what the right thing to do is, but they still derive joy in taking shortcuts that will in the end come back to hurt them and the country last last.

The current American election enlightened me in so many ways, especially when given the choice to pick between a rock and hard place, I have learnt that you just ignore your problem and wait for it solve itself or you could just… you know what, just make a choice and hope for the best, I mean what if heaven isn’t even real?

Anyway, as I was saying, I feel like Nigeria would have fared better in 2016 if we had collectively called on both major candidates for each party to attend a debate so we can hear from both candidates why we should vote for them, and that was the important lesson I learnt from the American 2016 Election. Trump and Hillary attending the debates gave the country the opportunity to hear them speak about their plans for the country in terms of economy, security, education etc. The debate also gave the people the chance to see if the candidates fit the profile of a person fit to be president of the United States. This was an opportunity Nigerians had but majority refused to take advantage of, I am very certain if Nigerians had taken this opportunity, maybe KOWA Party would have produced the present Nigerian president and not the APC.

The most hilarious thing about the Nigerian 2015 Election, was how the current Nigerian President denied in the public domain that he made many of the promises his party made on his behalf; promises he never came out to distance himself away from during the campaign, but after the election was won and done, bros came out to deny and disown these promises…. I still feel like those Yahoo Yahoo boys have nothing on the APC government when it comes to scamming, because the party scammed 15 million people who are still mostly unaware that they have been scammed.

By the way, if you are fortunate enough to discover this scam I speak of, congratulations, now make sure by 2019 you use your Number 6 before making a decision to vote for any candidate that decides that s/he is too big to attend debate before the election. I mean, a candidate not attending because of a flimsy reason like “But he didn’t attend that year so why should I this year?” is a candidate that has something to hide and you should be wary of and not vote for. To be honest, this is not rocket science.

Anyhoo, this is the end of my rambling. I know you are asking yourself “What is the point of all this nonsense I’ve just read now? ”, well you are right, I was not trying to make a point, I just wanted to type, and now I am tired.



P.S. Number 6 is like a special super power some Nigerians have, its like that thing called home training commonly found among Nigerians, you either have it or you do not. But my Baba told me that just like common sense, this Number 6 is not a common thing too, anyway, if you actually have this Number 6 thing, please be glad, be very glad except if you do not use it, then you are doing yourself because you are clearly not doing me.



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